This weekend, out of the blue, I felt that, sadly all too familiar, stab in the back by a loved one. I have been here before, and I’m sure I will be here again, but it still hurts, deeply.
I know you have probably been there too.
I am generally tough. I have been through enough of the storms of life and bad behavior in others that I think I am thick skinned… But I still find myself feeling wounded, betrayed, hurt, and angry.
I have taken it to God; rather, I am taking it to God, in a constant sense, since it happened. That is keeping me ‘standing’ but the waves keep washing over me at random, and I want to just have a good cry. Get it out of my system. Move on.
I will. On both counts. Immediate and progressive as it reappears in my thought processes.
I also trust, and know in my heart of hearts that God, who already knew this event was coming, will carry me through.
When it first happened, I felt blindsided. After mulling it over, I realize the storm clouds were definitely on the horizon over the past week or two, foretelling that a storm was coming. I thought I had warded them off. Re-directed the winds. I was wrong. They made a direct hit at my back. Ouch.
So, although I will still probably have that cry at some point, here is what I do know:
God is in control.
Over the storms on the horizon.
Over the winds that blow.
Over the changes in your plans.
Over the heartbreaks of your soul.
Over the people you are connected to.
Over you.
Yes, there is free will, and people use it every day. But God is still ultimately in control. Nothing happens that He is not aware of and in control of. He is not one bit surprised by the events occurring in your life. Good or bad. If He allows something in my life, whether good or bad – even if I get stabbed in the back, the good news is… God’s got my back! He will take care of it!
He will use that thing, that experience, that event in my life for His purposes and for His glory.
God is SOVEREIGN!
That is one of my favorite doctrines.
God doesn’t cause evil or sinful choices in people, but no matter what is thrown His way, He will knock it out of the park! He will use it for ultimate good in His children’s lives.
That is how I view God’s Sovereignty. That is how it makes some understandable sense to me.
I picture God (very respectfully!) as a Batter on a baseball field. The ONLY batter in the lineup. We might be on God’s team, but we aren’t in the batting lineup. We may play a role as the cheering section or giving Him praise for His awesome skills, a perfect 1.000+ batting average. The other team has EVERYONE who is not on God’s team (and sadly, some who are supposed to be on God’s team but have gone rogue/free agent.) with the devil egging them on as pitching coach.
No matter who takes their turn on the pitcher’s mound, (and we all have at some point) no matter what type of pitch is thrown: a foul ball, a curve ball, a splitter, slider, or screwball, a forkball, a cutter, a palmball, or a wild crazy illegal knuckleball, beanball, spitball or grease ball… no matter what outside pitch or inside pitch or any pitch not even thrown in the right direction at all… God knocks it out of the park.
It doesn’t hit the backfield fence. It doesn’t bounce just out of the outfielder’s grasp. It is out of the park. Into the lake. (I’m from Cleveland.) Never to be seen again.
This, of course, is only an illustration.
This picture obviously doesn’t cover all the nuances of God’s Sovereignty, (or baseball for that matter!) but it works for me. When those events of life pull the rug out from under me, or shake my footing, I get back in balance when I re-acknowledge that God’s got this. He’s got me!
I love the story of Joseph (Genesis Joseph) in the Bible. I have since I was a child reading my Bible story book. What Joseph’s brothers meant for evil, God meant for good. God hit Joseph’s story with all its sad stab-in-the-back parts, out of the park and into His Book for all of us to enjoy and learn from. He also saved Joseph’s whole family from the famine through the stab-in-the-back betrayal the brothers gave Joseph. God’s ultimate purposes were fulfilled even by an event that was dripping in the evil sinful choices made by those brothers, and then later by Potiphar’s wife.
Joseph trusted God’s Sovereignty throughout his ordeal and in time, he saw the amazing fulfillment of God’s purposes in his life.
I want to trust God’s Sovereignty like Joseph trusted.
I choose to trust God as The Ultimate Designated Hitter in my life. I hope you do too. It makes this game called ‘Life’ a lot easier to take when you know that God is in control, and has a wonderful plan and a purpose for you! And, if you are on God’s team, the final score will be absolutely AMAZING! A total sweep! I’ve read the back of the play Book, and we win, hands down!
So this event in my life, small and annoying though it is, I will let go of, and trust God’s purposes in it. They will be revealed at some point, in this life or in eternity. I have already prayed for the parties involved, that they would come to an understanding of God’s Truth in this situation.
I am deeply aware that I have probably been the one holding the knife at previous times in my life. I am truly sorry for this. I am generally tenderhearted and quick to apologize for my own failures in these ways. I have experienced a broken and a contrite heart over my own knife-wielding ways when I became aware of them. I don’t want to cause that pain in anyone ever again. Knowingly or unknowingly.
To ward this off, I try to set my goal to live my life under the Golden Rule and as a reflection of Christ. The bottom line is, I really just try to be kind to others. Even when they aren’t kind to me. So, even in this case, I will be kind. I will turn the other cheek. I will let it go, and into God’s well equipped hands. But I won’t put my back to them, and allow them to have clear aim either. That would be foolish on my part. True love means that sometimes the knife wielder has to be shown the consequences for their hurtful knife throwing. Then, when they can recognize and deal with their hurtful ways, they can be restored into fellowship with the ones they hurt.
Love will win. God always wins! Because He is in Control and He is Sovereign. 🙂
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